1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,160 Dr Caligari 1989 English 2 00:00:16,310 --> 00:00:20,564 [MAIN THEME PLAYS UNDER TITLES] 3 00:02:40,245 --> 00:02:43,082 [ROARING SOUNDS AND ELECTRONIC NOISE] 4 00:03:01,016 --> 00:03:03,769 [THUNDER] 5 00:03:16,865 --> 00:03:18,075 [LOUD DRIPPING OF WATER] 6 00:03:42,015 --> 00:03:46,311 [EERIE ELECTRONIC MUSIC AND DRIPS] 7 00:04:10,294 --> 00:04:11,545 [DOOR SLAMS SHUT] 8 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,307 [INDUSTRIAL SOUNDS] 9 00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,238 [WINDOW THRUST OPEN] 10 00:04:40,407 --> 00:04:41,992 [EERIE ELECTRONIC A] 11 00:05:59,987 --> 00:06:02,072 [CRACK OF THUNDER] 12 00:06:05,367 --> 00:06:08,036 [URGENT ELECTRONICA] 13 00:06:36,023 --> 00:06:38,942 [DISTORTED DISTANT LAUGHTER] 14 00:08:34,599 --> 00:08:37,936 [MRS VAN HOUTEN SCREAMS] 15 00:08:54,411 --> 00:08:56,131 [DISTORTED VOICE] I know you're watching me. 16 00:08:57,497 --> 00:09:03,336 I feel your eyes, like wet fingers, touching me in special places. 17 00:09:03,503 --> 00:09:07,090 I'm so moist I can't stop. 18 00:09:07,257 --> 00:09:08,508 I'm feeling so... 19 00:09:08,675 --> 00:09:10,510 so open. 20 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,513 Do you know what shame is? 21 00:09:14,139 --> 00:09:21,730 When you feel your sex like a live thing doing its own bad, little dance. 22 00:09:22,522 --> 00:09:24,149 My feelings are like filthy prayers. 23 00:09:24,316 --> 00:09:25,901 I want to scream in your face. 24 00:09:26,443 --> 00:09:28,570 Expose me Mr. Gone Gone. 25 00:09:28,737 --> 00:09:32,866 Make me squirm like your eyeballs in their sockets. 26 00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:35,786 I don't care if Caligari sees. 27 00:09:36,411 --> 00:09:39,206 Oh, I can hear them breathing at the asylum. 28 00:09:40,373 --> 00:09:42,292 And do you really know. 29 00:09:42,584 --> 00:09:44,294 I'm juicy bad. 30 00:09:44,461 --> 00:09:46,463 I know someone who has to tango. 31 00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:48,799 I know someone who has to move. 32 00:09:48,965 --> 00:09:52,344 When all the eyeballs scream stand still. 33 00:09:52,511 --> 00:09:55,597 Wanna, wanna watch? You wanna watch me shimmy? 34 00:09:55,764 --> 00:09:58,850 I've got a shimmy-button really low down. 35 00:09:59,017 --> 00:10:01,061 Take me daddy, please. 36 00:10:01,728 --> 00:10:03,313 The universe is vast. 37 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,273 I am a tongue bomb. 38 00:10:06,441 --> 00:10:08,193 I am life on Venus. 39 00:10:08,485 --> 00:10:10,487 Life as we know it... over. 40 00:10:10,695 --> 00:10:13,990 I know how to make it sizzle. 41 00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:17,661 Only appetite survives. 42 00:10:17,828 --> 00:10:20,122 Pleasure will short your circuits. 43 00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,999 I could leave you an erotic husk. 44 00:10:23,792 --> 00:10:26,044 Every cell has needs. 45 00:10:28,797 --> 00:10:33,468 Am I your sex dream or maybe a whole new me? 46 00:11:07,669 --> 00:11:09,796 Someone hurt me. Make it slow. 47 00:11:12,215 --> 00:11:13,258 CIA... 48 00:11:14,885 --> 00:11:18,388 That you, Dr. Caligari? This is Les Van Houten. 49 00:11:18,847 --> 00:11:20,223 We've got to talk about the Mrs. 50 00:11:20,974 --> 00:11:23,852 Of course, Mr Van Houten. How can I be of service? 51 00:11:25,478 --> 00:11:28,231 She's... slipping again. 52 00:11:31,026 --> 00:11:33,486 I was afraid there might be another episode. 53 00:11:33,987 --> 00:11:35,197 But this time it's worse. 54 00:11:35,447 --> 00:11:37,824 She's worked herself into a complete frenzy. 55 00:11:37,991 --> 00:11:40,577 She's got to be sedated. 56 00:11:41,328 --> 00:11:45,540 Mr. Van Houten, if you want your wife to rediscover pleasure 57 00:11:45,707 --> 00:11:48,001 you've got to learn to just say yes. 58 00:11:48,460 --> 00:11:52,172 But last time she... she almost didn't survive. 59 00:11:52,672 --> 00:11:55,926 And the scandal... I can't deal with another episode like that. 60 00:11:56,426 --> 00:11:59,429 Perhaps I should prescribe a sedative for you? 61 00:11:59,721 --> 00:12:01,848 Now just hold on, sister. 62 00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:03,975 He thinks I'm dirt. 63 00:12:04,142 --> 00:12:07,312 Meanwhile, one look at me and all the tiki boys get drooly. 64 00:12:07,479 --> 00:12:08,772 Wanna touch, buster? 65 00:12:08,939 --> 00:12:11,650 Wait, wait, I can hear her. 66 00:12:12,192 --> 00:12:15,070 I swear I can feel her beat from the next room. 67 00:12:15,487 --> 00:12:16,529 Get a grip. 68 00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:18,406 Try and remember. 69 00:12:18,573 --> 00:12:21,785 How many times did she reach her plateau? 70 00:12:21,952 --> 00:12:25,121 If you're talking about orgasms, I ran out of fingers. 71 00:12:25,747 --> 00:12:27,374 Clitoral or vag? 72 00:12:27,958 --> 00:12:28,958 I don't know. 73 00:12:29,376 --> 00:12:30,710 Single or multiple? 74 00:12:31,336 --> 00:12:32,336 I don't know. 75 00:12:32,879 --> 00:12:34,756 Dammit, I'm in a situation here. 76 00:12:35,298 --> 00:12:36,508 It's important. 77 00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:41,554 Did she have more than one orgasm or did she just have one? 78 00:12:41,846 --> 00:12:43,974 I said I don't know 79 00:12:44,307 --> 00:12:45,767 I know I'm not alone. 80 00:12:46,476 --> 00:12:47,686 They pick my bones. 81 00:12:48,270 --> 00:12:49,729 They sniff their fingers. 82 00:12:50,146 --> 00:12:51,273 They bowl. 83 00:12:52,315 --> 00:12:54,484 For God's sake, she's raving. 84 00:12:54,651 --> 00:12:56,111 You got me into this, doctor. 85 00:12:56,861 --> 00:12:58,989 They plant things in my Louis Vuitton valise. 86 00:12:59,489 --> 00:13:04,244 While you sleep they inject things... the libido patrol... regulating. 87 00:13:04,452 --> 00:13:05,912 You only think you sleep. 88 00:13:08,915 --> 00:13:10,333 Calm down, sweet be art. 89 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:16,256 Mr Snake Face, Mr. Pig Snout, don't give me tender-tender. 90 00:13:16,423 --> 00:13:17,716 You want bush. 91 00:13:17,882 --> 00:13:20,343 Now precious, we're having a little relapse. 92 00:13:21,011 --> 00:13:23,096 Don't worry, everything's gonna be alright. 93 00:13:32,981 --> 00:13:35,984 I see that face and I'm a love-slut, uh-huh. 94 00:13:38,111 --> 00:13:44,617 You bastard, you lovely, lovely, bastard. 95 00:14:03,553 --> 00:14:04,971 What am I supposed to think? 96 00:14:05,138 --> 00:14:08,016 You ring me out of the blue in some kind of adrenal panic 97 00:14:08,183 --> 00:14:10,143 and then just as suddenly you bang up. 98 00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:13,772 Lord in heaven, my wife was having some sort of sex fit. 99 00:14:15,231 --> 00:14:18,777 From all indications your wife's problem is in complete remission. 100 00:14:19,486 --> 00:14:20,820 Something set her off. 101 00:14:20,987 --> 00:14:24,074 - Oh, you don't think that I... - Chinchilla... chinchilla... chinchilla. 102 00:14:24,949 --> 00:14:27,035 Do we have to talk about this in front of her? 103 00:14:27,202 --> 00:14:28,453 Miss Koonce? 104 00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:33,083 She's presently under massive sedation for post-traumatic stress. 105 00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:37,337 She's less aware than the chair you're squirming in. 106 00:14:37,504 --> 00:14:41,091 - Well, I'd like to review Eleanor's files. - That's impossible. 107 00:14:41,257 --> 00:14:42,902 If you're gonna lay out a lot of red tape... 108 00:14:42,926 --> 00:14:45,929 Your wife's files have been destroyed. I destroyed them. 109 00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:49,099 Terrific, now what the hell do I tell Blue Cross? 110 00:14:49,391 --> 00:14:52,602 Did you tell my wife that you terminated her files? 111 00:14:52,769 --> 00:14:56,147 Mrs. Van Houten and I agreed such a measure would be in order. 112 00:14:56,314 --> 00:14:57,690 I should've been kept abreast. 113 00:14:58,024 --> 00:15:01,361 Why? What makes you thinks a man could ever understand? 114 00:15:01,528 --> 00:15:03,405 She's my wife. I have a right to know. 115 00:15:03,571 --> 00:15:05,365 Alright, if you insist 116 00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:07,367 erotic trauma. 117 00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:10,370 You live with a deeply disturbed woman. 118 00:15:10,995 --> 00:15:15,250 You mean, disturbed upset or disturbed insane? 119 00:15:15,417 --> 00:15:18,128 Your wife has a disease of the libido. 120 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:20,588 There you go... speak American. 121 00:15:20,755 --> 00:15:22,841 She's completely out of control. 122 00:15:23,925 --> 00:15:26,511 My prognosis is two weeks in the asylum. 123 00:15:26,678 --> 00:15:28,763 Two weeks? That's kind of drastic. 124 00:15:29,055 --> 00:15:31,516 If you love your wife you'll put her in my care. 125 00:15:31,683 --> 00:15:33,435 Chinchilla... chinchilla... chinchilla 126 00:15:34,102 --> 00:15:36,563 Seems to me we've tried your brand of therapy. 127 00:15:36,729 --> 00:15:37,897 Was it effective? 128 00:15:38,064 --> 00:15:39,399 I admit you changed her, 129 00:15:39,566 --> 00:15:41,109 but I'm not gonna risk my wife 130 00:15:41,276 --> 00:15:43,236 just so you can get your puss in Psychology Today. 131 00:15:43,570 --> 00:15:46,197 I don't have time for your paranoia... 132 00:15:47,574 --> 00:15:49,534 Chinchilla... [LANGUIDLY] 133 00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:54,038 Mind your nerve ends, love-buncb. 134 00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:59,669 I'm afraid Miss Koonce needs my undivided attention. 135 00:16:00,003 --> 00:16:01,463 So until later this evening... 136 00:16:01,629 --> 00:16:02,869 Hold it, you. How do I know...? 137 00:16:02,964 --> 00:16:06,009 I'm the most celebrated psychotherapist in the country. 138 00:16:06,176 --> 00:16:08,678 Dr. Wilhelm Reich, Dr. C. J. Jung, 139 00:16:08,845 --> 00:16:10,805 Dr. Caligari. 140 00:16:10,972 --> 00:16:12,182 Save the resume. 141 00:16:12,348 --> 00:16:15,477 I know you helped my wife, but just some of your methods are... 142 00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:16,853 Unconventional? 143 00:16:17,395 --> 00:16:19,856 Well, there's nothing conventional about your wife. 144 00:16:20,023 --> 00:16:23,860 The nightmares... the hallucinations... the severe nympholepsy. 145 00:16:24,027 --> 00:16:25,236 OK, I've beard enough. 146 00:16:25,403 --> 00:16:29,073 I just don't want you doing anything extreme to Eleanor. 147 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,743 You'll be here at ten... you'll sign the release... 148 00:16:31,910 --> 00:16:33,495 and you'll band over your wife. 149 00:16:34,537 --> 00:16:35,872 Do I have a choice? 150 00:17:00,647 --> 00:17:05,568 Ramona... Adrian... Come in, please. 151 00:17:08,613 --> 00:17:09,613 Good morning, father. 152 00:17:09,656 --> 00:17:11,496 Your psoriasis seems to have cleared up nicely. 153 00:17:11,533 --> 00:17:13,213 Sure has dad... thanks for squeezing us in. 154 00:17:14,827 --> 00:17:17,914 Come now, I always have time for you two. 155 00:17:18,081 --> 00:17:19,290 That is nice of you. 156 00:17:19,457 --> 00:17:21,167 But I'm afraid what we have to say... 157 00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:23,574 Won't exactly make you want to tickle us behind the ears. 158 00:17:25,046 --> 00:17:28,841 Why? Is it indecent? Vulgar? 159 00:17:29,008 --> 00:17:31,094 Yes... as a matter of fact, she is. 160 00:17:31,261 --> 00:17:33,638 Dr. Caligari has crossed the line between radical therapy... 161 00:17:33,805 --> 00:17:36,099 and outright bum an experimentation. 162 00:17:36,266 --> 00:17:38,226 She has a total disregard for patient's rights... 163 00:17:38,393 --> 00:17:40,770 And a morbid fascination with pain and suffering. 164 00:17:41,229 --> 00:17:43,189 Why, it's all all so... 165 00:17:44,065 --> 00:17:45,650 so unbelievable. 166 00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:47,777 She's no longer a research doctor. 167 00:17:48,236 --> 00:17:49,487 She's a flat out sadist. 168 00:17:49,654 --> 00:17:52,365 An outright perversion of medical laws... a sex Nazi... 169 00:17:52,532 --> 00:17:53,616 you remember their doctors. 170 00:17:54,242 --> 00:17:56,661 They used living beings to achieve their own twisted aims. 171 00:17:57,620 --> 00:18:00,123 I think you both are being monstrously ungrateful. 172 00:18:00,915 --> 00:18:04,127 Dr. Caligari is doing the most significant work in the field. 173 00:18:05,545 --> 00:18:09,299 Why she is responsible for 92% of our recent grants. 174 00:18:10,174 --> 00:18:11,634 She's worse than incompetent. 175 00:18:11,801 --> 00:18:12,594 She's evil. 176 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,679 If you won't listen to us, then watch. 177 00:18:14,846 --> 00:18:16,389 [AUDIO SWOOSH] 178 00:18:16,556 --> 00:18:19,017 Aren't they pretty? Dr. Caligari made me a custom blend. 179 00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:21,769 Extra-strength fatty tissue. It's the best. 180 00:18:22,395 --> 00:18:25,023 She's floating enough estrogen to give Jimmy Stewart curves. 181 00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:27,859 Caligari's responsible for that aberration. 182 00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:31,696 And you two are losing sight of the fact 183 00:18:31,863 --> 00:18:36,326 that this woman came to the CIA less than a month ago 184 00:18:36,492 --> 00:18:38,911 in a pronounced psychotic state. 185 00:18:39,621 --> 00:18:42,457 Now she's well on her way to the road to recovery. 186 00:18:42,624 --> 00:18:44,417 I call that success. 187 00:18:44,709 --> 00:18:45,960 I call it disgusting. 188 00:18:46,127 --> 00:18:47,962 Not to mention immoral and mad. 189 00:18:48,129 --> 00:18:50,673 As head nurse I demand Caligari's dismissal. 190 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:51,840 Never. 191 00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:55,553 Dr. Caligari developed her theory of hormonal interfacing 192 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,889 within the walls of this institution. 193 00:18:59,349 --> 00:19:03,853 You think I'd terminate her now when she's on the brink of medical history? 194 00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:07,523 I think you should know... we have most of the staff behind us. 195 00:19:08,483 --> 00:19:12,320 Staff is expendable, genius is not. 196 00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:13,905 Father... 197 00:19:14,155 --> 00:19:18,159 Need I remind you that this asylum bears the Caligari name. 198 00:19:19,619 --> 00:19:23,706 I may be director, but it was one man... Caligari... 199 00:19:24,082 --> 00:19:27,752 Dr. Caligari's grandfather who had the vision. 200 00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:29,879 It's his legacy. 201 00:19:30,171 --> 00:19:31,631 Father, you leave me no choice, 202 00:19:31,798 --> 00:19:34,079 but to write a formal complaint to the board of directors. 203 00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:35,385 That's your right, dear. 204 00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:38,012 Do what you think is necessary. 205 00:19:38,596 --> 00:19:39,596 Coming to dinner tonight? 206 00:19:39,639 --> 00:19:40,807 Of course. 207 00:19:41,516 --> 00:19:42,996 Good deal, I'm whipping up your fave. 208 00:19:43,101 --> 00:19:44,981 [DR. AVOL OFF CAMERA] No, no, no, don't tell me. 209 00:19:45,103 --> 00:19:46,270 You guessed it. 210 00:19:46,437 --> 00:19:47,689 Tender little sheep trotters. 211 00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:49,273 Par boiled. 212 00:20:01,452 --> 00:20:03,454 Name: Gus Pratt. 213 00:20:03,913 --> 00:20:07,125 The crime: murder, cannibalism. 214 00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:09,277 The diagnosis: acute dissociative. 215 00:20:11,254 --> 00:20:14,215 Recommend: electro-convulsion therapy. 216 00:20:14,924 --> 00:20:17,385 ECT... my favourite three letters in the alphabet. 217 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,889 E-C-T. 218 00:20:22,807 --> 00:20:24,392 You enjoy shock therapy? 219 00:20:25,935 --> 00:20:27,311 I like the tingle. 220 00:20:27,478 --> 00:20:30,648 Juice me, I'm a shiver boy. I got secret needles in my... 221 00:20:32,108 --> 00:20:33,401 pokey-globes. 222 00:20:34,026 --> 00:20:37,280 You've implanted needles... In your buttocks? 223 00:20:38,823 --> 00:20:42,410 Pins and needles... the shiny kind. 224 00:20:43,244 --> 00:20:47,165 I'm ridin' a zillion happy volts. 225 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:50,333 Wanna see? 226 00:20:54,130 --> 00:20:56,716 You've dreamed of this, haven't you? 227 00:20:57,091 --> 00:20:58,843 Ob, like forever. 228 00:20:59,010 --> 00:21:01,179 In my dream you strap me in the big chair, okay. 229 00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:03,973 And you push me down and I go like whoosh, them sewin' needles. 230 00:21:04,182 --> 00:21:05,433 Then you sneer at me. 231 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,811 Then you turn the power on till it makes me screech like a little bunny 232 00:21:08,978 --> 00:21:11,397 with a car antenna stuck plumb thru its beating heart. 233 00:21:11,564 --> 00:21:13,316 Oedipal hysteria, Mr. Pratt? 234 00:21:13,483 --> 00:21:17,820 Pathological daddy lust...? a little cognitive dysfunction. 235 00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:21,073 But we're not gonna let that make us late for the parade, are we? 236 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,074 No ma'am, I'm spunky. 237 00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:23,241 My pappy was spunky. 238 00:21:23,284 --> 00:21:24,762 Used to call him Bongo around the neighborhood. 239 00:21:24,786 --> 00:21:25,620 Bongo or Glug-Glug 240 00:21:25,787 --> 00:21:28,747 cuz every Saturday he'd give us kids each a nickel to bongo his glug-glugs. 241 00:21:28,831 --> 00:21:30,625 Histrionic... narcissistic. 242 00:21:30,792 --> 00:21:31,959 Like birthday parties? 243 00:21:32,126 --> 00:21:33,377 How'd you know? I love 'em. 244 00:21:33,544 --> 00:21:35,647 Fact, right now, I'm gonna sit in this here frying seat, 245 00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:37,399 squeeze my eyes right shut and pretend it's you and me 246 00:21:37,423 --> 00:21:39,860 just a hummin' and a buzzin', side by side, havin' a race, like, 247 00:21:39,884 --> 00:21:41,111 to see who's brain starts to smoke first. 248 00:21:41,135 --> 00:21:42,780 Look Caligari, there's a puff comin' out of your ears 249 00:21:42,804 --> 00:21:44,013 pretty as a mountain sunset. 250 00:21:44,555 --> 00:21:45,598 Mr. Pratt, 251 00:21:45,807 --> 00:21:49,894 some pretty important souls have squirmed where you're strapped in. 252 00:21:54,398 --> 00:21:57,485 I never meant to do... bad things. 253 00:21:57,652 --> 00:21:59,904 I never meant to be any more than sociable. 254 00:22:01,447 --> 00:22:03,699 Hey, I'm tired of talkin'. When you gonna do me, huh? 255 00:22:04,408 --> 00:22:07,078 Oh, you're gonna savor this. 256 00:22:07,620 --> 00:22:12,542 Uh-huh, uh-huh... I wanna a real long one. 257 00:22:13,709 --> 00:22:14,752 You do? 258 00:22:15,670 --> 00:22:17,630 I wanna smell myself. 259 00:22:19,757 --> 00:22:22,176 Can I taste my skin when it gets crispy? 260 00:22:22,343 --> 00:22:24,512 Sweat's what makes it tasty, don't you know? 261 00:22:24,679 --> 00:22:27,723 Now who's the chatter box? Now who's moving his lips? 262 00:22:27,890 --> 00:22:30,560 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 263 00:22:31,060 --> 00:22:33,396 Still gonna do me now, aren't ya? Still gonna? 264 00:22:33,938 --> 00:22:34,938 Maybe... 265 00:22:36,691 --> 00:22:37,691 Chinchilla! 266 00:22:37,775 --> 00:22:40,778 [LOUD ELECTRONIC BUZZING] 267 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,953 Chronic insult to the frontal lobe. 268 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,205 This one will write me a thank-you note. 269 00:22:59,463 --> 00:23:02,091 It's like a thousand points of light. 270 00:23:02,258 --> 00:23:08,681 130 volts brain via scalp... generalized electrical seizure. 271 00:23:08,848 --> 00:23:11,976 I like the dirty talk. All that volt and electrode stuff. 272 00:23:12,143 --> 00:23:13,311 You wanna buzz me more. 273 00:23:13,477 --> 00:23:15,146 When I get a little I always want a lot. 274 00:23:15,313 --> 00:23:16,939 You're a piggy little thing. 275 00:23:17,106 --> 00:23:18,107 You want more? 276 00:23:18,274 --> 00:23:20,151 I told you I got the itch. I'm burnin' up. 277 00:23:20,318 --> 00:23:22,236 I'm a hunk of electric corpuscles. 278 00:23:22,403 --> 00:23:23,571 First we work. 279 00:23:23,738 --> 00:23:25,698 You scratch my itch. 280 00:23:25,865 --> 00:23:26,866 That's not fair. 281 00:23:27,033 --> 00:23:32,538 I'm a juice-dog, I'm a twitchin' skee-ball and you won't let me shiver. 282 00:23:32,955 --> 00:23:34,498 Quiet... watch. 283 00:23:35,791 --> 00:23:38,586 Looky... 284 00:23:39,420 --> 00:23:40,171 I know her. 285 00:23:40,338 --> 00:23:42,538 Girls named Tinky always taste better on the second day. 286 00:23:42,590 --> 00:23:44,550 You wanna snip the arms and legs for easy storage. 287 00:23:44,634 --> 00:23:46,093 Double wrapped to retard spoilage. 288 00:23:46,719 --> 00:23:48,262 And this little snippet? 289 00:23:48,721 --> 00:23:50,973 [OMINOUS ELECTRONIC SOUNDS] 290 00:23:54,018 --> 00:23:56,646 They oughta put this one on the cover of the Denny's menu. 291 00:23:57,146 --> 00:23:58,773 You like what you see? 292 00:24:00,483 --> 00:24:02,944 She looks religious. 293 00:24:03,778 --> 00:24:05,404 Is it Easter already? 294 00:24:05,613 --> 00:24:10,034 Gus likes to kiss... Gus loves to nibble. 295 00:24:10,993 --> 00:24:14,372 Nothing makes a man like you feel alive like... 296 00:24:14,538 --> 00:24:17,708 Soft supple American girl-patty. 297 00:24:18,376 --> 00:24:19,627 Slice it thick, ma. 298 00:24:19,919 --> 00:24:22,338 Feel happy... feel sad? 299 00:24:22,505 --> 00:24:25,633 I feel... in love. 300 00:24:26,884 --> 00:24:28,803 I just loved that girl too much. 301 00:24:28,970 --> 00:24:29,970 [DR CALIGARI] You loved? 302 00:24:30,388 --> 00:24:32,056 I loved little Grace Butter. 303 00:24:32,223 --> 00:24:33,223 I did... 304 00:24:33,557 --> 00:24:38,104 I can still see the pink in her eye as she parked her fat'n'sassy in my kitchenette. 305 00:24:38,270 --> 00:24:40,982 Her face buried in the current issue of Watchtower. 306 00:24:41,941 --> 00:24:45,152 When she saw that jumbo tureen I bad sittin' on the floor... 307 00:24:45,319 --> 00:24:47,071 What's that for, Mr.Pratt? 308 00:24:47,405 --> 00:24:49,115 That's for you, little Gracie. 309 00:24:50,366 --> 00:24:51,867 To make me a stew... 310 00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:55,204 to make you stew, little Gracie. 311 00:24:56,789 --> 00:24:58,290 She was actually 33... 312 00:24:58,457 --> 00:25:00,835 a kindergarten teacher at a home for wayward tots. 313 00:25:02,378 --> 00:25:04,046 I was a wayward tot. 314 00:25:04,213 --> 00:25:06,757 I told her, and then I smiled and said... 315 00:25:07,174 --> 00:25:07,967 Surprise! 316 00:25:08,134 --> 00:25:09,301 [BOTTLE SMASHING] 317 00:25:09,468 --> 00:25:13,681 Cracked a bottle of ketchup, family size, right across her pretty wrinkled brow. 318 00:25:14,306 --> 00:25:16,100 Violence, Mr. Pratt? 319 00:25:17,101 --> 00:25:19,729 I want to be gentle as a Iamb-pie, but you know, 320 00:25:19,895 --> 00:25:22,231 the way she wrinkled her pretty kindy-garten brow, 321 00:25:22,398 --> 00:25:24,233 it always looked like she was thinkin'. 322 00:25:24,859 --> 00:25:27,236 Her face kind of floated on top of the stew. 323 00:25:27,403 --> 00:25:29,196 You know, kind of like a lotus-blossom. 324 00:25:29,989 --> 00:25:31,574 Seen one on a calendar once. 325 00:25:32,033 --> 00:25:34,618 Her face just floated like a Grace posy 326 00:25:34,785 --> 00:25:37,288 lookin' up at me with them maraschino cherry eyes. 327 00:25:37,705 --> 00:25:39,707 You don't think I'd boil her peepers, do ya? 328 00:25:39,874 --> 00:25:43,044 Kind doctor, sautéed is the only way to serve an eyeball. 329 00:25:43,627 --> 00:25:46,047 Love lurks in peculiar places. 330 00:25:46,505 --> 00:25:48,799 You put her in the pot? 331 00:25:49,508 --> 00:25:51,093 Wearing her Sunday best. 332 00:25:51,886 --> 00:25:59,060 [SINGING] Carrots and peas and polka dots, taters and dumplings and beauty spots 333 00:25:59,226 --> 00:26:03,939 That's the kind of girl I adoooore 334 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:08,360 Lip smacking good Gracie galore 335 00:26:08,527 --> 00:26:09,612 [SOUNDS OF POT STIRRING] 336 00:26:09,779 --> 00:26:11,864 I always sing when I'm making stew. 337 00:26:12,031 --> 00:26:13,240 That's the fun part. 338 00:26:15,993 --> 00:26:18,496 Well, I think that's a wonderful story. 339 00:26:18,662 --> 00:26:19,997 Simply wonderful. 340 00:26:20,247 --> 00:26:22,708 Do I get my treat now? Huh... huh... do I? 341 00:26:22,875 --> 00:26:24,235 You said I could have a treat now. 342 00:26:24,335 --> 00:26:25,586 Now don't grovel. 343 00:26:25,795 --> 00:26:28,172 I want you to ask me politely. 344 00:26:28,506 --> 00:26:29,757 Yessem. 345 00:26:29,924 --> 00:26:32,384 Dr. Caligari, ma'am... 346 00:26:32,635 --> 00:26:35,513 can I please get a bang that'll make my spine snap? 347 00:26:36,263 --> 00:26:37,723 Excuse me... I mean... 348 00:26:38,349 --> 00:26:41,894 may I please get a weensy tingle? 349 00:26:44,730 --> 00:26:47,483 [OMINOUS MUSIC] 350 00:26:57,618 --> 00:27:00,287 [MRS VAN HOUTEN] Their eyes tickle me like little insect feet. 351 00:27:00,579 --> 00:27:02,081 Vile little insects. 352 00:27:06,961 --> 00:27:08,462 Hope I didn't startle you, hon. 353 00:27:08,629 --> 00:27:09,755 Are you feeling better? 354 00:27:10,381 --> 00:27:11,382 I like it here. 355 00:27:11,549 --> 00:27:13,843 Nothing beats setting up camp in the desert at night... 356 00:27:14,009 --> 00:27:16,011 just toasting S'mores and getting glowy. 357 00:27:16,554 --> 00:27:17,721 Baby, we have to talk. 358 00:27:18,430 --> 00:27:21,058 I'm on a radiation vacation soaking up the gammas. 359 00:27:21,225 --> 00:27:23,705 All the be-men do their bomb testing just over the ridge there. 360 00:27:23,853 --> 00:27:24,603 Can't you smell it? 361 00:27:24,770 --> 00:27:27,106 Baby, I talked to Dr. Caligari this morning. 362 00:27:27,273 --> 00:27:30,151 She wants you back there for a couple of days, a week at the most. 363 00:27:31,777 --> 00:27:33,028 I know you're watching me. 364 00:27:33,779 --> 00:27:37,074 There's a possibility... that your problem is coming back. 365 00:27:37,241 --> 00:27:39,618 Dr. Caligari would like you in for observation. 366 00:27:40,411 --> 00:27:41,611 There's nothing wrong with me. 367 00:27:41,745 --> 00:27:43,122 I'm just little Miss Suburbia. 368 00:27:43,289 --> 00:27:45,332 Two gene pods and a purse full of credit cards. 369 00:27:45,499 --> 00:27:47,168 My husband had an erection once. 370 00:27:47,626 --> 00:27:48,626 Silly, really. 371 00:27:48,711 --> 00:27:50,713 I want you to go upstairs and pack a suitcase. 372 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,131 I'm taking you back there. 373 00:27:52,548 --> 00:27:53,883 This flicker is my vortex. 374 00:27:54,049 --> 00:27:54,842 See the neon? 375 00:27:55,009 --> 00:27:56,760 I've got an EKG you can dance to. 376 00:27:56,927 --> 00:27:58,262 Everybody limbo. 377 00:27:58,429 --> 00:28:00,055 I bad a legendary twitch in Nagasaki. 378 00:28:00,222 --> 00:28:01,222 Uh-huh. 379 00:28:04,018 --> 00:28:05,561 [WHITE NOISE] 380 00:28:06,812 --> 00:28:08,314 I wanna tell you a secret. 381 00:28:10,774 --> 00:28:14,486 I'd drop my panties to see you buck naked, all saddled up. 382 00:28:22,745 --> 00:28:26,123 [DISTORTED VOICE] Kiss a psychotic... a psychotic kisses back. 383 00:28:31,545 --> 00:28:32,588 [DOOR SLAMS] 384 00:28:40,554 --> 00:28:42,348 [ROARING NOISE] 385 00:28:50,231 --> 00:28:53,525 [STORM-LIKE SOUNDS] 386 00:29:27,977 --> 00:29:29,645 [WHITE NOISE] 387 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:51,458 [SLURPING SOUNDS] 388 00:30:57,232 --> 00:30:59,735 Dr. Caligari, this is Les van Houten. 389 00:30:59,902 --> 00:31:01,570 It's an emergency. 390 00:31:04,406 --> 00:31:07,201 [ECHOEY VOICE] I know you're watching me, I know you're watching me. 391 00:31:07,368 --> 00:31:10,079 I know you're watching me... 392 00:31:25,302 --> 00:31:26,342 I know you're watching me. 393 00:31:27,346 --> 00:31:31,183 Welcome back Mrs. Van Houten, I'm so pleased to see you. 394 00:31:31,892 --> 00:31:32,935 I know you're watching me. 395 00:31:33,352 --> 00:31:34,352 I know why. 396 00:31:35,687 --> 00:31:38,315 Of course, you're a fascinating woman. 397 00:31:38,649 --> 00:31:40,192 I wish to learn more about you. 398 00:31:40,651 --> 00:31:42,111 [WE BEAR A SCREAM] 399 00:31:42,736 --> 00:31:44,863 There's much to be learned from a despairing shriek. 400 00:31:45,239 --> 00:31:46,239 For instance? 401 00:31:46,407 --> 00:31:48,033 That you can't trust doctors. 402 00:31:48,283 --> 00:31:49,451 But you can trust love. 403 00:31:49,618 --> 00:31:50,953 Doctors neither love nor hate. 404 00:31:51,328 --> 00:31:53,122 Profits, not sentiment, direct them. 405 00:31:53,330 --> 00:31:55,582 Describe your life in three words or less. 406 00:31:55,791 --> 00:31:57,709 Unending torment. 407 00:31:58,585 --> 00:31:59,920 Elaborate please. 408 00:32:00,170 --> 00:32:01,422 Blankety, blank, blank. 409 00:32:02,005 --> 00:32:03,674 Thank you for being specific. 410 00:32:04,258 --> 00:32:05,467 What do you want from me. 411 00:32:05,634 --> 00:32:06,677 I can't love. 412 00:32:06,844 --> 00:32:07,844 And sex? 413 00:32:07,928 --> 00:32:09,680 A sideshow on a trip to the abyss. 414 00:32:09,847 --> 00:32:10,889 Aren't we bitter. 415 00:32:11,432 --> 00:32:12,182 Not at all. 416 00:32:12,349 --> 00:32:14,143 Even eternal bell needs an opening act. 417 00:32:15,519 --> 00:32:16,687 How do I make you feel? 418 00:32:18,063 --> 00:32:19,082 [SARCASTICALLY] Oh, I'm delighted. 419 00:32:19,106 --> 00:32:21,775 I get a kick out of the third degree from buxom fascists. 420 00:32:22,025 --> 00:32:26,196 What's next, the rubber hose, a few volts of electric shock to get me chatty? 421 00:32:26,864 --> 00:32:28,407 Mrs. Van Houten... 422 00:32:28,949 --> 00:32:30,075 I love psychiatry. 423 00:32:30,242 --> 00:32:31,869 It's such an innocent bobby. 424 00:32:32,494 --> 00:32:33,704 Blah, blab, blah... 425 00:32:34,204 --> 00:32:37,964 [MRS VAN HOUTENS'S VOICE] I know just what it's like when a girl needs her prescription filled. 426 00:32:38,125 --> 00:32:39,376 Like the voice...? 427 00:32:40,002 --> 00:32:45,674 A dash of the young Pat Nixon, a hint of the Raelettes, 428 00:32:45,841 --> 00:32:47,885 and a whole lot of you know who. 429 00:32:49,011 --> 00:32:50,220 Go away. 430 00:32:51,221 --> 00:32:52,389 You can't fool me. 431 00:32:52,556 --> 00:32:54,099 I know your little secret. 432 00:32:54,558 --> 00:32:56,518 I said, leave me alone. 433 00:32:57,519 --> 00:32:59,104 Funny thing about desire. 434 00:32:59,396 --> 00:33:02,274 If it's not crude, it's not pure. 435 00:33:02,816 --> 00:33:04,193 Still, ashamed? 436 00:33:04,359 --> 00:33:05,359 Uh-huh. 437 00:33:05,444 --> 00:33:07,029 Eleanor, you're being watched. 438 00:33:08,113 --> 00:33:09,239 Yes, I know. 439 00:33:09,448 --> 00:33:11,825 Faceless strangers even now devour you. 440 00:33:12,159 --> 00:33:13,243 Uh-huh. 441 00:33:13,410 --> 00:33:14,912 Eyes you'll never see. 442 00:33:15,245 --> 00:33:19,166 Tongues and mouths consuming exposed flesh... yours. 443 00:33:20,042 --> 00:33:21,210 I know. 444 00:33:21,376 --> 00:33:24,421 Your special friend... right now... 445 00:33:24,588 --> 00:33:28,926 would you... some on the floor...? Amorosa? 446 00:33:31,094 --> 00:33:35,182 An instant fix... with him... with you watching? 447 00:33:35,766 --> 00:33:37,768 Yes, yes and yes. 448 00:33:38,936 --> 00:33:41,647 Is this for general release or just a private view? 449 00:33:41,980 --> 00:33:43,315 Strictly confidential. 450 00:33:43,607 --> 00:33:46,276 Your lips, the doctor's eyes. 451 00:33:47,236 --> 00:33:52,199 All right... all right... I'll play... I'll play. 452 00:34:03,877 --> 00:34:05,879 Is there a problem, Mrs. Van Houten? 453 00:34:06,213 --> 00:34:07,839 I want his boy-thing. 454 00:34:08,048 --> 00:34:10,634 I'll twist it like a rubber band till it snaps. 455 00:34:40,205 --> 00:34:43,750 Help me, Dr. Caligari... help me. 456 00:34:48,505 --> 00:34:54,011 That aroma... burned flesh always reminds me of something. 457 00:34:57,806 --> 00:34:59,266 Eleanor Van Houten is back. 458 00:34:59,433 --> 00:35:00,767 Dot in admitting called me. 459 00:35:01,101 --> 00:35:04,271 - Van Houten? - Ms. Libido, 1985... remember? 460 00:35:04,438 --> 00:35:06,023 The competition was stiff as I recall. 461 00:35:06,315 --> 00:35:09,443 [SNIFFING SOUNDS] Garden fresh, I don't taste no insecticide. 462 00:35:09,610 --> 00:35:11,445 The Van Houten clan were all hormone cases... 463 00:35:11,778 --> 00:35:13,098 With startling hallucinations... 464 00:35:13,864 --> 00:35:16,783 I won't put but two different kinds of beans on my plate. 465 00:35:17,117 --> 00:35:20,537 I'm talkin' green, I'm talkin' wax, I'm talkin' navy. 466 00:35:20,746 --> 00:35:21,538 Finito! 467 00:35:21,705 --> 00:35:22,789 According to Caligari... 468 00:35:22,956 --> 00:35:24,374 So now she gets to treat her again? 469 00:35:24,541 --> 00:35:28,045 And treat herself to more grant money while she destroys Van Houten's mind. 470 00:35:28,211 --> 00:35:32,966 And you can't forget the potato salad - German, of course. 471 00:35:33,133 --> 00:35:36,720 My grandma Heidi used to make all the potato salad for Himmler's picnics... 472 00:35:36,887 --> 00:35:37,887 Kugel, too. 473 00:35:38,055 --> 00:35:40,015 I saw Mrs. Van Houten's chart. 474 00:35:40,223 --> 00:35:42,392 It's marked cured by Dr. Caligari. 475 00:35:42,559 --> 00:35:44,102 And the husband... that idiot... 476 00:35:44,269 --> 00:35:46,063 Demands that Caligari treat his wife again. 477 00:35:47,272 --> 00:35:48,565 Plus charlie-chokes. 478 00:35:48,982 --> 00:35:51,568 You'd remember if you bad 'em... cute little green things... 479 00:35:51,818 --> 00:35:53,362 hard as little green... 480 00:35:54,071 --> 00:35:54,821 teeth. 481 00:35:54,988 --> 00:35:57,240 The only way to save Mrs. Van Houten is... 482 00:35:57,574 --> 00:36:00,994 - To stop Caligari, which means - No time for the board of inquiry. 483 00:36:01,161 --> 00:36:03,163 - I say we try direct... - Confrontation. 484 00:36:03,330 --> 00:36:04,414 Ever had mouse meat? 485 00:36:04,915 --> 00:36:06,333 Some folks bate it... not me. 486 00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:09,711 Smothered in onions... I'd make it a holiday meal. 487 00:36:10,128 --> 00:36:12,673 [OMINOUS ELECTRONIC A AND BELLS] 488 00:36:16,259 --> 00:36:18,053 Enter if you must. 489 00:36:20,764 --> 00:36:22,404 [LES VAN HOUTEN] I'd like to see my wife. 490 00:36:22,974 --> 00:36:25,352 Are we getting enough sleep, Lester? 491 00:36:25,686 --> 00:36:27,062 We don't sound well. 492 00:36:27,229 --> 00:36:28,021 [LES VAN HOUTEN] We sound fine. 493 00:36:28,188 --> 00:36:30,649 I just wanna see my wife and I don't want any runaround. 494 00:36:30,816 --> 00:36:33,985 Mrs. Van Houten was signed into my care for two weeks... 495 00:36:34,152 --> 00:36:36,530 - it's hardly been 2 days. - I don't give a damn. 496 00:36:36,697 --> 00:36:37,697 I want to see her. 497 00:36:37,739 --> 00:36:39,658 I haven't had my morning coffee yet. 498 00:36:43,453 --> 00:36:44,705 Why don't you join me? 499 00:36:44,871 --> 00:36:46,331 Not a chance. 500 00:36:46,665 --> 00:36:48,041 But I insist. 501 00:36:48,250 --> 00:36:50,001 It'll give us a chance to talk. 502 00:36:50,377 --> 00:36:52,170 Please, be seated. 503 00:36:53,380 --> 00:36:56,550 But I still don't understand about this whole isolation business. 504 00:36:57,467 --> 00:36:58,719 [SNAPS FINGERS] 505 00:36:59,010 --> 00:37:03,056 On my desk, Cesare. 506 00:37:03,849 --> 00:37:06,518 Mr. Van Houten, this is Cesare. 507 00:37:07,561 --> 00:37:09,813 Cesare... is that Italian? 508 00:37:10,731 --> 00:37:12,899 [CESARE SNIFFS] 509 00:37:13,483 --> 00:37:15,068 What an unhealthy smell. 510 00:37:15,235 --> 00:37:18,363 Are you by any chance attempting to digest goat cheese? 511 00:37:18,739 --> 00:37:19,990 Native feta? 512 00:37:20,574 --> 00:37:25,662 Cesare's a budding osteopath, as well as a talented actor. 513 00:37:25,829 --> 00:37:26,955 That is interesting. 514 00:37:27,247 --> 00:37:30,625 I used to dawdle in front of the footlights myself... dinner theater, mostly. 515 00:37:33,295 --> 00:37:37,215 As piquant as the young Raymond Burr, with just a hint of Shelly Winters... 516 00:37:37,674 --> 00:37:41,428 saucy yet American and dumb. 517 00:37:45,348 --> 00:37:46,767 A lump or two? 518 00:37:47,934 --> 00:37:50,020 Gimme a pair, it's been a big day. 519 00:38:03,825 --> 00:38:06,578 So when is she gonna be normal again? 520 00:38:07,245 --> 00:38:09,331 Her EKG is back to earth. 521 00:38:09,915 --> 00:38:13,960 Serotonin is still elevated, that's to be expected. 522 00:38:14,503 --> 00:38:18,173 And of course, there are the orgasms. 523 00:38:20,425 --> 00:38:21,426 Her what? 524 00:38:21,718 --> 00:38:25,347 Thank God, it's a poly-blend, stains come right out. 525 00:38:26,807 --> 00:38:28,099 What orgasms? 526 00:38:28,475 --> 00:38:31,478 Actually, I was just testing your reaction. 527 00:38:31,937 --> 00:38:37,317 Trying to get a sense of your, shall we say, 'erotomania. 528 00:38:37,484 --> 00:38:40,570 I don't have to stand still for this kind of slander. 529 00:38:40,779 --> 00:38:44,783 For five happy years my wife and I bad a normal sex life 530 00:38:44,950 --> 00:38:45,575 in accordance with church values. 531 00:38:45,784 --> 00:38:50,080 Now, I wake up at 4:15... she's buck naked and squawking for Sinatra. 532 00:38:50,288 --> 00:38:53,667 She wants me to pretend I'm Frankie, Jr. Well, I'm not, I'm not and I never will be. 533 00:38:54,668 --> 00:38:58,421 Mr. Van Houten, you're married to a very disturbed woman. 534 00:38:59,256 --> 00:39:01,758 A week ago Tuesday we were so happy. 535 00:39:02,050 --> 00:39:04,052 She was whipping up an apple brown Betty. 536 00:39:05,095 --> 00:39:06,429 Then the world fell in. 537 00:39:06,805 --> 00:39:07,848 How's that coffee? 538 00:39:08,223 --> 00:39:11,977 Huh? Oh, it's fine, fine. 539 00:39:12,435 --> 00:39:13,728 Mr Van Houten... 540 00:39:15,230 --> 00:39:16,231 Les, please... 541 00:39:16,606 --> 00:39:19,276 Les, do you mind if I probe you? 542 00:39:19,609 --> 00:39:20,610 I beg your pardon? 543 00:39:21,069 --> 00:39:24,155 How does talking about your wife's orgasms make you feel? 544 00:39:25,448 --> 00:39:27,701 Getting a little hot in here or is it, me? 545 00:39:28,285 --> 00:39:29,536 I hadn't noticed. 546 00:39:29,911 --> 00:39:32,581 I don't suppose you have a problem you'd like to discuss? 547 00:39:33,039 --> 00:39:38,753 Can you open a window? I'm suffocating. 548 00:39:39,629 --> 00:39:43,758 I'm beginning to get the impression you don't know bow to satisfy your wife. 549 00:39:46,511 --> 00:39:47,846 I think I'm going to faint. 550 00:39:48,430 --> 00:39:50,849 Have something to eat... you'll feel better. 551 00:39:51,933 --> 00:39:54,644 [CAKE EMITS SIGHING SOUND] 552 00:39:57,272 --> 00:40:01,526 [HEARTBEAT AND BUBBLING] 553 00:40:02,193 --> 00:40:03,361 Bon appetite. 554 00:40:06,072 --> 00:40:07,198 Get away from me. 555 00:40:07,741 --> 00:40:10,452 You can at least taste it before saying no. 556 00:40:10,619 --> 00:40:12,621 [SCREAMS] 557 00:40:18,043 --> 00:40:21,546 I'm sorry, I'm feelin' weird. 558 00:40:22,756 --> 00:40:24,174 That's obvious, Les. 559 00:40:24,549 --> 00:40:26,301 Considered anti-depressants? 560 00:40:26,635 --> 00:40:29,638 A stint on Elavil wouldn't Burt you at all, Mister. 561 00:40:30,138 --> 00:40:31,765 I gotta take a nap. 562 00:40:32,265 --> 00:40:33,725 Here comes Uncle Snoozy. 563 00:40:35,393 --> 00:40:42,609 [COUNTS IN GERMAN] 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 564 00:40:44,611 --> 00:40:46,446 [METAL DOOR SLAMS SHUT] 565 00:40:50,742 --> 00:40:53,912 Dr. Caligari, please... open the door. 566 00:40:54,329 --> 00:40:55,789 I'm burning up! 567 00:40:56,581 --> 00:40:59,417 [EERIE ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 568 00:41:13,932 --> 00:41:14,933 Darling... 569 00:41:16,518 --> 00:41:17,727 is that you? 570 00:41:23,608 --> 00:41:28,238 That man fouls the air with the smell of decaying flesh. 571 00:41:29,072 --> 00:41:32,867 Eleanor, please, help me. 572 00:41:33,159 --> 00:41:34,244 I'm sick. 573 00:41:40,750 --> 00:41:41,918 It can't be...! 574 00:41:42,252 --> 00:41:45,505 [MR VAN HOUTEN SCREAMS] 575 00:41:45,672 --> 00:41:50,760 What's the matter, don't you like it? I did it for you... for you, Les. 576 00:41:51,636 --> 00:41:54,139 Eleanor, no... 577 00:41:55,765 --> 00:41:57,934 [LES SCREAMS] 578 00:42:06,359 --> 00:42:07,527 Bounce me, daddy. 579 00:42:07,694 --> 00:42:12,032 Bounce me like a big old beach ball. [LAUGHS] 580 00:42:14,617 --> 00:42:15,617 Enter... 581 00:42:17,245 --> 00:42:18,580 How can I be of assistance? 582 00:42:18,788 --> 00:42:21,916 You can begin by removing yourself from the Van Houten case. 583 00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:25,003 And then turning over her medical records to Dr. Avol. 584 00:42:25,295 --> 00:42:28,923 In the nine years you've been experimenting on living, feeling brains... 585 00:42:29,174 --> 00:42:31,634 17 of your patients have been irreversibly... 586 00:42:31,843 --> 00:42:32,843 WARPED! 587 00:42:32,927 --> 00:42:33,927 Neural mayhem. 588 00:42:34,262 --> 00:42:35,638 They can't be saved. 589 00:42:35,805 --> 00:42:37,474 Mrs. Van Houten can. 590 00:42:38,058 --> 00:42:39,142 We intend to save her. 591 00:42:39,350 --> 00:42:42,479 But Mrs. Van Houten is my... thrill machine. 592 00:42:43,271 --> 00:42:44,856 What's that supposed to mean? 593 00:42:45,023 --> 00:42:47,776 It means put away your halos and crawl back to bed. 594 00:42:48,109 --> 00:42:49,944 You may have Dr. Avol persuaded... 595 00:42:50,111 --> 00:42:52,530 But we'll go to the APA... the morality board. 596 00:42:52,697 --> 00:42:54,032 I'm so happy for you. 597 00:42:54,199 --> 00:42:56,409 Will there be a scandal? A humiliation? 598 00:42:56,576 --> 00:42:58,328 You must produce Mrs. Van Houten. 599 00:42:58,495 --> 00:42:59,913 We're entitled to interview her. 600 00:43:00,121 --> 00:43:03,541 That would be nice, but I'm afraid she's up to her elbows in therapy. 601 00:43:03,708 --> 00:43:04,708 [THUNDER] 602 00:43:04,751 --> 00:43:07,003 Smile... we've got enough to mail you... 603 00:43:07,170 --> 00:43:08,880 To malpractice land... 604 00:43:09,047 --> 00:43:12,133 I'll tell Mrs. Van Houten you were concerned about her affairs... 605 00:43:12,300 --> 00:43:13,593 she'll be aroused. 606 00:43:13,968 --> 00:43:16,971 - We must have dinner sometime. - Not likely, Caligari. 607 00:43:17,138 --> 00:43:19,349 Don't you want to sample my culinary prowess? 608 00:43:19,557 --> 00:43:21,643 - I can't picture you... - In the kitchen... 609 00:43:21,810 --> 00:43:23,394 I make a mean sheep trotter. 610 00:43:23,645 --> 00:43:26,147 The secret is finding sheep like you. 611 00:43:26,314 --> 00:43:28,775 [PEAL OF THUNDER AND SOUNDS OF INSECTS] 612 00:43:40,829 --> 00:43:42,622 Dad, would you say grace? 613 00:43:43,706 --> 00:43:51,706 [SINGING] Bless this house oh lord we pray, keep it safe by night and day. 614 00:43:54,759 --> 00:43:55,969 Thank you for these trotters. 615 00:43:58,179 --> 00:43:59,973 They look great. 616 00:44:00,473 --> 00:44:01,599 Amen. 617 00:44:02,684 --> 00:44:04,394 Call me sentimental, 618 00:44:04,644 --> 00:44:09,816 but when I see a fresh sheep trotter, I can't help but think there is a God. 619 00:44:12,068 --> 00:44:14,863 Oh dad, you say that every Thursday. 620 00:44:15,029 --> 00:44:16,489 Adrian, would you please... 621 00:44:16,656 --> 00:44:18,658 Take a little off the top? Of course. 622 00:44:24,622 --> 00:44:27,625 [SOUND OF ELECTRIC SHEARS] 623 00:44:30,962 --> 00:44:34,340 I still get misty when I see you handle those clippers. 624 00:44:35,008 --> 00:44:37,719 Remember, dad, I did my graduate work in Australia. 625 00:44:59,741 --> 00:45:00,741 A toast... 626 00:45:01,993 --> 00:45:03,328 to the downfall... 627 00:45:03,494 --> 00:45:04,829 Of Dr. Caligari. 628 00:45:04,996 --> 00:45:08,499 I'll drink the wine, but I told you both already 629 00:45:09,542 --> 00:45:11,336 Caligari stays. 630 00:45:12,545 --> 00:45:14,255 [A DOORBELL RINGS] 631 00:45:15,381 --> 00:45:16,507 Are you expecting company? 632 00:45:17,550 --> 00:45:18,590 Are you expecting company? 633 00:45:18,718 --> 00:45:19,969 No, I'll get it, dear. 634 00:45:22,722 --> 00:45:24,599 Ramona looks a little peaked, don't you think? 635 00:45:24,933 --> 00:45:26,392 She's such a worrier. 636 00:45:27,101 --> 00:45:27,894 We did it, dad. 637 00:45:28,061 --> 00:45:30,063 Today we fired volley number one at Caligari. 638 00:45:31,981 --> 00:45:35,193 I wish you two would get over your obsession with Caligari. 639 00:45:38,488 --> 00:45:40,615 Adrian, do you say you were expecting a package? 640 00:45:41,157 --> 00:45:42,367 I said no such thing. 641 00:45:42,533 --> 00:45:44,094 The messenger said it's from the asylum. 642 00:45:44,118 --> 00:45:45,495 I guess you should open it up. 643 00:45:48,081 --> 00:45:51,584 Roses are red, violets are blue, trotters are tasty, what about you? 644 00:45:52,001 --> 00:45:53,419 Love and XXX. 645 00:45:53,711 --> 00:45:54,711 What does that mean? 646 00:45:54,796 --> 00:45:56,714 XXX? It means kisses. 647 00:45:57,423 --> 00:46:00,260 My guess is Caligari's saying life imitates bad art. 648 00:46:01,761 --> 00:46:03,721 Wouldn't that look nice on velvet? 649 00:46:05,598 --> 00:46:08,184 Caligari's so obvious. The mind of a shoplifter. 650 00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:12,438 [FINGERNAILS SCRATCHING] 651 00:46:12,730 --> 00:46:14,065 Disgusting... 652 00:46:14,774 --> 00:46:19,112 Mind if I have seconds on the sheep tips, dear? 653 00:46:19,862 --> 00:46:25,827 [MULTIPLE SCREAMS] 654 00:46:25,994 --> 00:46:27,287 [SHEEP BAA] 655 00:46:46,347 --> 00:46:47,347 What is it, Ramona? 656 00:46:47,390 --> 00:46:48,391 Hold me, Adrian. 657 00:46:49,058 --> 00:46:50,393 - Tell me? - Jesus. 658 00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:51,894 Uh-oh. Bad dreams? 659 00:46:52,061 --> 00:46:54,314 - Breathe. - I'm dripping... the fear. 660 00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:55,606 Valium will eat that fear. 661 00:46:56,232 --> 00:46:57,483 I have to go to the asylum. 662 00:46:57,650 --> 00:47:00,194 Now? It's three in the morning. 663 00:47:00,361 --> 00:47:02,113 Caligari works all night. 664 00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:03,406 Was the bad doctor in... 665 00:47:03,573 --> 00:47:06,200 My bell dream? Yes, I have to see her now. 666 00:47:06,367 --> 00:47:08,567 In a few days the board will make their recommendations. 667 00:47:08,619 --> 00:47:09,619 It can't wait. 668 00:47:09,662 --> 00:47:11,873 I have a feeling something monstrous is going on. 669 00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:13,875 Perhaps I'll crunch a tranquilizer. 670 00:47:14,042 --> 00:47:15,918 Adrian, you can't relax. 671 00:47:16,085 --> 00:47:18,004 We have to save Mrs. Van Houten from Caligari. 672 00:47:18,171 --> 00:47:19,531 Just a weensy yellow one until... 673 00:47:19,630 --> 00:47:21,424 Sleep comes by to pat me on the head? 674 00:47:21,591 --> 00:47:22,717 I can't think about sleep. 675 00:47:22,884 --> 00:47:23,884 We can't wait. 676 00:47:24,635 --> 00:47:25,904 You suffered a shock to your unconscious 677 00:47:25,928 --> 00:47:26,928 don't try and move. 678 00:47:27,055 --> 00:47:29,807 Adrian, I'm going to check on things. 679 00:47:30,224 --> 00:47:31,934 If you want to sleep, sleep. 680 00:47:32,310 --> 00:47:33,519 If you think it's right. 681 00:47:33,686 --> 00:47:34,771 The dream makes it right. 682 00:47:42,695 --> 00:47:45,073 That forehead, like, moist rubber. 683 00:48:14,685 --> 00:48:16,813 The name's Pratt, that's right, Gus Pratt, 684 00:48:16,979 --> 00:48:19,690 the studded butt guy, used to whomp myself with a studded paddle 685 00:48:19,857 --> 00:48:21,818 till my butt looked like seventy pounds of Alpo. 686 00:48:21,984 --> 00:48:25,571 Paid kids to do it on payday, then, I got too familiar with a 12-year old peach 687 00:48:25,738 --> 00:48:27,091 and squeezed the juice right out of her. 688 00:48:27,115 --> 00:48:28,275 Put her in a stew, of course. 689 00:48:28,408 --> 00:48:30,076 Nothing hides evidence like a stew. 690 00:48:31,077 --> 00:48:34,580 Scrape the nerve ends of the skin, eyes like electro-worms. 691 00:48:34,747 --> 00:48:36,707 When you watch me, I get tingle-shocks. 692 00:48:36,874 --> 00:48:39,669 I'm all breast... all hunger... 693 00:48:42,088 --> 00:48:45,758 Mr. Van Houten, ever seen a cannulation? 694 00:48:45,925 --> 00:48:48,594 It's such a unique operation. 695 00:48:50,847 --> 00:48:52,932 [SOUND OF DISTANT THUNDER] 696 00:49:02,817 --> 00:49:06,028 Woo-wee, my fuzzy-button feels floppy good. 697 00:49:06,195 --> 00:49:09,073 I got a bucket of goofy fish in my belly. 698 00:49:09,699 --> 00:49:11,451 See this implant, here? 699 00:49:11,951 --> 00:49:14,745 Just kisses your spouse's hypothalamus. 700 00:49:14,912 --> 00:49:17,290 It's my favourite part of the brain. 701 00:49:17,457 --> 00:49:20,293 Controls all the primal urges... 702 00:49:20,460 --> 00:49:26,090 appetite, fatigue, body temperature, sex. 703 00:49:27,550 --> 00:49:30,094 Can you bold a mirror while you do that, sexy lady? 704 00:49:30,261 --> 00:49:33,347 I want to watch my kissy-space get all squished up. 705 00:49:33,514 --> 00:49:38,478 This hypo's brimming with fluid extracted from Mr. Pratt's hypothalamus. 706 00:49:38,644 --> 00:49:42,982 One plunge and splish-splash. 707 00:49:43,149 --> 00:49:46,652 Mr. Pratt's gland juice becomes Mrs. Van Houten's. 708 00:49:47,528 --> 00:49:50,907 Big fun with the autonomic nervous system. 709 00:49:54,869 --> 00:49:58,831 [PERCUSSION HEAVY, SYNCOPATED ELECTRONICA] 710 00:50:16,891 --> 00:50:19,060 I got no joy squeezing the life outta the pre-teen. 711 00:50:19,227 --> 00:50:22,813 The fun was slappin' on the oven mitts and watching the old iron pot hit full boil 712 00:50:22,980 --> 00:50:24,420 and dicing carrots into the bubbles. 713 00:50:24,524 --> 00:50:26,359 You like Maine potatoes or ldaho's? 714 00:50:26,526 --> 00:50:27,652 I'm an Idaho man. 715 00:50:27,818 --> 00:50:31,864 Fact is, when that stock turns ruby red, I get warm all over. 716 00:50:33,783 --> 00:50:37,119 Relax, Mr. Van Houten... be a man. 717 00:50:37,703 --> 00:50:41,874 We're simply going to insert fluid from Mrs. Van Houten's happy limbic system 718 00:50:42,291 --> 00:50:45,002 directly into Mr Pratt's forebrain. 719 00:51:04,146 --> 00:51:12,146 Hey... hey... hey... this is kooky. 720 00:51:12,321 --> 00:51:13,864 I've got prancy feet. 721 00:51:14,031 --> 00:51:16,742 I'm crazy in love with li'I ol' me. 722 00:51:19,662 --> 00:51:22,707 Mr. Van Houten, I gaze about enraptured, 723 00:51:22,873 --> 00:51:26,627 overwhelmed by the brilliance of this holy room. 724 00:51:27,587 --> 00:51:28,963 Oh, Dr. Caligari... 725 00:51:29,130 --> 00:51:31,048 I didn't know you were working down here. 726 00:51:32,466 --> 00:51:35,344 Oh, Dr. Avol, I'm very busy right now. 727 00:51:35,511 --> 00:51:37,930 Can we speak later in your office? 728 00:51:38,931 --> 00:51:41,601 What's going on here? What is all this? 729 00:51:41,851 --> 00:51:46,147 [PEALS OF DISTANT THUNDER] 730 00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:53,529 [OMINOUS ELECTRONICA] This Dr. Avol is the neurological event of the decade. 731 00:51:53,696 --> 00:51:55,906 Hypothalamus interfacing, 732 00:51:56,157 --> 00:52:01,120 the melding of two psyches with a single glandular squirt. 733 00:52:01,287 --> 00:52:03,080 Co-mingling bodily fluids. 734 00:52:03,247 --> 00:52:07,043 And Mr. Pratt, Mrs. Van Houten, they've OK'd this? 735 00:52:07,209 --> 00:52:08,711 Petty concerns. 736 00:52:08,878 --> 00:52:11,672 It's typical when brain history's in the making. 737 00:52:12,465 --> 00:52:13,966 What you're saying is impossible. 738 00:52:14,634 --> 00:52:16,636 Why you're defying the laws of reality. 739 00:52:16,802 --> 00:52:20,389 This is the only reality and I write the laws. 740 00:52:20,890 --> 00:52:22,933 And this one... in costume? 741 00:52:24,268 --> 00:52:25,853 He plays an important role. 742 00:52:26,020 --> 00:52:27,855 Psychodrama's a subtle art. 743 00:52:28,022 --> 00:52:29,732 He wants to speak. Let him. 744 00:52:29,899 --> 00:52:32,735 My dear Dr Avol, it's best if we meet later when... 745 00:52:32,902 --> 00:52:35,196 Remove the bandage, please. 746 00:52:35,529 --> 00:52:37,114 Anything for a colleague. 747 00:52:39,492 --> 00:52:41,077 Dr. Avol, help me please. 748 00:52:41,410 --> 00:52:44,455 She's holding me against my will. I'm being used as a lab rat. 749 00:52:44,622 --> 00:52:45,706 A god damn lab rat! 750 00:52:46,165 --> 00:52:47,792 What is the meaning of all this? 751 00:52:49,669 --> 00:52:52,088 He's a hysteric, off the street. 752 00:52:52,421 --> 00:52:54,298 I'm seeking ways to relieve his anxiety. 753 00:52:54,465 --> 00:52:55,758 She's lying, Dr. Avol. 754 00:52:55,925 --> 00:52:58,928 I'm not a hysteric, I'm a CPA... got my own firm. 755 00:52:59,136 --> 00:53:00,930 Look at me... I'm Les van Houten! 756 00:53:01,097 --> 00:53:04,767 My God! Release this man. 757 00:53:05,226 --> 00:53:09,772 She's turned the woman I love into a flesh eater. 758 00:53:10,648 --> 00:53:13,317 [MORE THUNDER] 759 00:53:14,276 --> 00:53:19,699 Oh please, that man is a walking argument for Thorazine. 760 00:53:20,700 --> 00:53:22,368 Ramona and Adrian were right. 761 00:53:22,535 --> 00:53:23,744 You are insane. 762 00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:25,287 Hurry, doc. 763 00:53:25,454 --> 00:53:27,373 I'm dying in here. 764 00:53:28,582 --> 00:53:32,128 Darling, one look at those earlobes and I knew I bad to nibble. 765 00:53:34,755 --> 00:53:35,755 Dr. Caligari? 766 00:53:35,798 --> 00:53:36,798 [DOOR SLAMS] 767 00:53:36,924 --> 00:53:38,634 Has anyone seen, Dr. Caligari? 768 00:53:38,801 --> 00:53:40,511 Chinchilla... chinchilla... chinchilla. 769 00:53:40,803 --> 00:53:41,887 I don't need this tie. 770 00:53:42,638 --> 00:53:44,038 Got by for thirty years without it. 771 00:53:44,181 --> 00:53:46,392 [IN SPANISH] Caligari is bewitched. 772 00:53:47,351 --> 00:53:48,394 Damn! 773 00:53:49,729 --> 00:53:51,564 [LOUD CRASH] 774 00:53:53,899 --> 00:53:57,069 [OMINOUS MUSIC] 775 00:54:06,871 --> 00:54:10,416 Also known as mountain oysters, 776 00:54:10,583 --> 00:54:11,893 testicles are a favourite epicurean delicacy. 777 00:54:11,917 --> 00:54:15,546 To prepare, first cut into the loose outer skin 778 00:54:15,713 --> 00:54:17,023 for the entire length of the swelled surface. 779 00:54:17,047 --> 00:54:20,760 Remove the skins in the same manner, disturbing the meat as little as possible 780 00:54:20,926 --> 00:54:22,046 during the peeling process. 781 00:54:22,303 --> 00:54:24,680 An oval flesh form will remain. 782 00:54:25,139 --> 00:54:29,310 Soak the peeled testicles in cold water for 3 hours, drain. 783 00:54:30,394 --> 00:54:32,313 Cover testicles with fresh lemon slices. 784 00:54:32,605 --> 00:54:36,025 Fry in deep fat at 360 degrees until golden. 785 00:54:37,359 --> 00:54:38,903 Hey, Mr. Van Houten. 786 00:54:39,236 --> 00:54:43,115 These plump wads taste better than a stack of Jemima's. 787 00:54:44,116 --> 00:54:46,952 [LOUD SCREAM] 788 00:54:49,330 --> 00:54:51,332 Go after that sorry bobo. 789 00:54:58,380 --> 00:55:01,550 I see you have a yen for Dr. Avol. 790 00:55:01,967 --> 00:55:04,470 Well, go ahead... touch him. 791 00:55:04,929 --> 00:55:09,225 Ooh, gross. He's icky. I never want to touch a yucky man-thing. 792 00:55:09,391 --> 00:55:11,560 Now go away... I'm scooting. 793 00:55:12,728 --> 00:55:13,813 [MUSIC PLAYS] 794 00:55:26,116 --> 00:55:27,785 What's the matter, Doctor? 795 00:55:28,202 --> 00:55:30,704 Maybe you long for a mommy's breast. 796 00:55:31,330 --> 00:55:34,667 A soothing stream of love fluid. Yes? 797 00:55:35,876 --> 00:55:38,838 Well, we can oblige you, sure. 798 00:55:39,171 --> 00:55:44,885 100 percent pure glandular extract from Mrs. Van Houten. 799 00:55:45,135 --> 00:55:48,430 In a moment or two, you'll be a new girl. 800 00:55:50,724 --> 00:55:53,018 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 801 00:56:03,946 --> 00:56:07,408 It must be wonderful to be reborn as the same creature, 802 00:56:07,658 --> 00:56:09,827 but different in every way. 803 00:56:10,369 --> 00:56:12,454 Maybe you were born for this moment. 804 00:56:12,997 --> 00:56:14,957 To be... transformed. 805 00:56:15,332 --> 00:56:18,335 To be... Miss Destiny. 806 00:56:21,714 --> 00:56:22,798 [MUSIC PLAYS] 807 00:56:24,550 --> 00:56:29,346 No... I'm Babs. 808 00:56:32,141 --> 00:56:40,141 Tease me, squeeze me, never let me go. 809 00:57:02,755 --> 00:57:05,299 Cesare, I'm asking you once again. 810 00:57:05,466 --> 00:57:09,261 Have you seen Dr. Avol or Dr. Caligari? I've been looking all over for them. 811 00:57:09,428 --> 00:57:10,012 So what? 812 00:57:10,179 --> 00:57:12,099 I've got my bands filled with this lodge meeting. 813 00:57:12,222 --> 00:57:13,462 Are you by any chance a Kiwana? 814 00:57:13,933 --> 00:57:16,268 No, but I'd like to be. 815 00:57:16,477 --> 00:57:18,228 If you help me, I'll join. 816 00:57:20,356 --> 00:57:23,192 Why would I want you to join? You're not Kiwana's material. 817 00:57:23,609 --> 00:57:24,318 I'm not? 818 00:57:24,485 --> 00:57:25,611 I don't think so. 819 00:57:25,778 --> 00:57:28,238 I see you more as an Odd Fellow. 820 00:57:28,447 --> 00:57:29,531 Is that good? 821 00:57:29,865 --> 00:57:31,367 It's better than being a Moose. 822 00:57:31,659 --> 00:57:33,160 They wear each other's drawers. 823 00:57:33,494 --> 00:57:34,828 Give me your drawers. 824 00:57:34,995 --> 00:57:36,014 I'll show you where they are. 825 00:57:36,038 --> 00:57:37,807 You can leave them in my mailbox in an envelope. 826 00:57:37,831 --> 00:57:39,667 Anyway, Avol's been lab-napped. 827 00:57:39,833 --> 00:57:42,544 Dr. Caligari's in him her secret place. 828 00:57:42,753 --> 00:57:43,796 Where? 829 00:57:43,963 --> 00:57:47,299 The basement, where Caligari's monsters lap water from bowls. 830 00:57:47,549 --> 00:57:48,549 Thank you, Cesare. 831 00:57:51,387 --> 00:57:52,513 We're having a rummage sale. 832 00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:54,098 Raising money for Jerry's kids. 833 00:57:54,264 --> 00:57:55,557 Bring all your old glands. 834 00:57:55,724 --> 00:57:58,185 Give us your endocrine system. 835 00:58:03,732 --> 00:58:06,235 [DOOMY ELECTRONIC DRONES] 836 00:58:34,805 --> 00:58:38,475 Every night the same scum come to soak their eyeballs. 837 00:58:39,768 --> 00:58:41,770 They don't know where beauty sleeps. 838 00:58:42,980 --> 00:58:47,401 They've never seen desire in her high heels and violet mascara. 839 00:58:48,569 --> 00:58:49,569 Oh no... 840 00:58:57,786 --> 00:58:59,621 Toxic waste... that's all they are... 841 00:58:59,788 --> 00:59:02,541 toxic waste poisoning a noble soul. 842 00:59:08,213 --> 00:59:14,595 [SINGS] Falling in love again, Never wanted to 843 00:59:15,804 --> 00:59:22,978 What am I to do Can't help it... 844 00:59:26,023 --> 00:59:28,484 Look mommy, there's a funny man... 845 00:59:28,650 --> 00:59:30,986 Dorotby... you cover your eyes this instant. 846 00:59:31,153 --> 00:59:33,833 It's getting so a decent person can't walk down the street any more. 847 00:59:39,078 --> 00:59:40,621 I know what I am. 848 00:59:41,288 --> 00:59:43,165 But I know I'm not what I am. 849 00:59:44,625 --> 00:59:46,502 Beauty lives inside me. 850 00:59:48,253 --> 00:59:52,633 Oh, but when beauty is trapped... It gets ugly. 851 00:59:56,929 --> 00:59:59,223 That Caligari is a mean doctor. 852 01:00:00,599 --> 01:00:05,437 She doesn't understand, I mean, about people like us. 853 01:00:10,109 --> 01:00:15,405 I see my face and I think who is that stranger? 854 01:00:17,074 --> 01:00:18,534 Whose eyes are these? 855 01:00:20,285 --> 01:00:22,371 Are these hands connected to me? 856 01:00:24,540 --> 01:00:25,999 And the worst part... 857 01:00:29,294 --> 01:00:30,462 the worst part... 858 01:00:34,633 --> 01:00:36,135 where's the rest of me? 859 01:00:37,845 --> 01:00:39,721 [SLAPS HAND ON WOOD] 860 01:00:41,098 --> 01:00:43,058 I know you're watching me. 861 01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:50,315 Naughty, naughty, naughty... 862 01:00:51,358 --> 01:00:52,943 Oh, I'm sorry sweetness. 863 01:00:53,694 --> 01:00:55,404 I hope it didn't Burt too much. 864 01:00:58,991 --> 01:01:01,118 Wouldn't it be perfect... 865 01:01:01,285 --> 01:01:03,912 to open up a vein and watch the water tall. 866 01:01:05,289 --> 01:01:06,289 Oh my 867 01:01:08,167 --> 01:01:10,252 you always Burt the one you love. 868 01:01:26,310 --> 01:01:28,478 Oh, I know what I must look like to you. 869 01:01:29,021 --> 01:01:34,443 I'm not rich... I'm not celebrated... just a regular girl. 870 01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:41,783 You know what it means to be a prisoner in your own skin? 871 01:01:42,284 --> 01:01:43,827 Of course you do... 872 01:01:44,453 --> 01:01:48,707 then you know there are some truths that are too unspeakable. 873 01:01:49,666 --> 01:01:51,126 I know it hurts. 874 01:01:51,752 --> 01:01:56,298 I promise I'll buy you both a box of candy as soon as we pass a shop. 875 01:01:57,049 --> 01:02:02,596 What's your favourite... mixed nuts or chocolate covered cherries? 876 01:02:03,764 --> 01:02:06,975 There are some states of being for which there is no name 877 01:02:07,142 --> 01:02:10,020 because the people who experience them do not come back. 878 01:02:10,646 --> 01:02:13,774 My skin has wrapped me in this gruesome mistake. 879 01:02:16,777 --> 01:02:18,028 I know you're watching me. 880 01:02:20,906 --> 01:02:23,283 Night after night the Caligari stench. 881 01:02:23,575 --> 01:02:24,952 The breath of animals. 882 01:02:25,118 --> 01:02:27,412 Superior beings should not kill, 883 01:02:27,579 --> 01:02:30,874 but then superior beings should not have to live with vermin, either. 884 01:02:31,750 --> 01:02:32,750 Oh no. 885 01:02:33,293 --> 01:02:39,466 I've got a clock in my bead that says 'tick-tock, do the world a favour.' 886 01:02:50,519 --> 01:02:53,438 Oh my... you always hurt the one you love. 887 01:02:54,439 --> 01:02:56,149 [BANGS AGAINST GRILL] 888 01:02:56,316 --> 01:02:58,610 [OMINOUS, LOW LEVEL RUMBLING] 889 01:03:12,249 --> 01:03:14,960 Mr. Van Houten, where are you? 890 01:03:20,841 --> 01:03:24,469 Do you realize when raising opossum it's best to feed them on milk and bran 891 01:03:24,636 --> 01:03:25,716 ten days before butchering? 892 01:03:32,311 --> 01:03:35,689 After field-dressing woodchuck leave them banging for 48 hours, 893 01:03:36,148 --> 01:03:37,232 skin as for rabbit. 894 01:03:37,858 --> 01:03:41,653 But remove the seven small kernel-like glands under the genital organs. 895 01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:27,074 You're maudlin and full of self-pity. 896 01:04:28,033 --> 01:04:29,284 You're magnificent. 897 01:04:40,128 --> 01:04:43,006 Take a luscious willing creature... 898 01:04:44,174 --> 01:04:49,137 Take her and make her extremely happy. 899 01:04:50,639 --> 01:04:53,058 [URGENT PERCUSSIVE ELECTRONICA] 900 01:05:25,590 --> 01:05:27,592 Orin while you can, Caligari. 901 01:05:27,843 --> 01:05:30,512 Once my father gets wind of this you're history. 902 01:05:31,763 --> 01:05:33,557 You can fill him in now. 903 01:05:34,975 --> 01:05:37,060 Ramona, be a doll. 904 01:05:37,561 --> 01:05:38,895 Take some Polaroids, will you. 905 01:05:39,271 --> 01:05:40,897 I wanna remember this moment. 906 01:05:42,107 --> 01:05:46,319 Why? Why? Were you lonely, daddy? 907 01:05:48,113 --> 01:05:49,739 What has she done to you, daddy? 908 01:05:50,323 --> 01:05:54,286 Ramona, did I ever tell you I do a mean can-can? 909 01:05:54,661 --> 01:05:55,829 What say? 910 01:05:56,788 --> 01:05:59,833 Oh please, this can't be happening. 911 01:06:00,333 --> 01:06:02,294 I know, I know. 912 01:06:02,461 --> 01:06:05,797 Our little Babs just can't control herself. 913 01:06:09,968 --> 01:06:13,263 Ramona, be my very own personal love goddess... 914 01:06:13,430 --> 01:06:15,390 my very own Princess Di. 915 01:06:16,141 --> 01:06:19,019 Your father loves you. What a fortunate child you are. 916 01:06:19,811 --> 01:06:24,149 Sweetsie, the only duty we have to history is to rewrite it. 917 01:06:26,902 --> 01:06:28,278 Dad, I'm getting you outta here. 918 01:06:28,653 --> 01:06:32,115 Babs! If you love me you'll call me Babs. 919 01:06:32,282 --> 01:06:33,575 Dammit dad, listen to me. 920 01:06:33,742 --> 01:06:38,830 Babs! Babs! Babs! That's my very special name. 921 01:06:39,498 --> 01:06:41,416 What do you think of Babs, Ramona? 922 01:06:42,042 --> 01:06:47,214 Perhaps a tuck here, a tuck there... a couple of sessions of electrolysis. 923 01:06:47,547 --> 01:06:48,924 I'm taking you home. 924 01:06:49,508 --> 01:06:50,675 You just wanna trick me. 925 01:06:51,176 --> 01:06:52,219 Bab's knows. 926 01:06:52,594 --> 01:06:56,515 If you let me inflate your nay-nays, I'll be your hamper girl for good. 927 01:06:59,434 --> 01:07:04,105 I don't know what you did, but this can't prove anything except how sick you are. 928 01:07:05,106 --> 01:07:07,943 Wanna rub my snuggle-bucket? Come on. 929 01:07:08,485 --> 01:07:11,655 I can transplant moods... Inclinations... taste, 930 01:07:11,863 --> 01:07:14,407 all in the discharge of a rogue gland. 931 01:07:14,699 --> 01:07:15,492 That's cruel. 932 01:07:15,659 --> 01:07:17,744 Why turn my father into some bopped up Ethel Merman? 933 01:07:18,036 --> 01:07:19,704 As if I care about your father. 934 01:07:19,913 --> 01:07:21,540 Once the board sees his condition 935 01:07:21,706 --> 01:07:25,126 their only choice will be to make me the director. 936 01:07:25,627 --> 01:07:26,795 You should be proud. 937 01:07:27,128 --> 01:07:29,798 Your daddy helped me reach the final solution. 938 01:07:30,465 --> 01:07:33,051 Up to now I produced mutations, but... 939 01:07:33,218 --> 01:07:36,680 But... but what? Now what are you saying, Caligari? 940 01:07:40,183 --> 01:07:42,936 Gaze upon this pure and holy relic... 941 01:07:43,436 --> 01:07:48,066 the brain of my late grandfather, Dr. Caligari the first. 942 01:07:49,526 --> 01:07:50,527 It can't be true. 943 01:07:50,735 --> 01:07:51,735 Oh, but it is. 944 01:07:52,028 --> 01:07:54,114 I shall bear not only grandfather's name, 945 01:07:54,322 --> 01:07:57,534 I shall possess his incredible mental prowess as well. 946 01:07:58,493 --> 01:07:59,893 We're getting outta here, Caligari. 947 01:07:59,995 --> 01:08:01,037 Don't try to stop me. 948 01:08:01,246 --> 01:08:02,747 I wouldn't dream of it. 949 01:08:02,998 --> 01:08:07,085 I think every couple deserves a stab at happiness. 950 01:08:08,169 --> 01:08:10,422 Remember kids... this isn't Utah. 951 01:08:10,589 --> 01:08:13,008 Nobody wants incest on their block. 952 01:08:14,968 --> 01:08:17,429 Excitement's the essence of life. 953 01:08:17,596 --> 01:08:19,598 When it's over, you're dead. 954 01:08:22,309 --> 01:08:24,936 For God's sake, keep your hands to yourself, daddy. 955 01:08:26,479 --> 01:08:28,440 Am I being a scamp? 956 01:08:29,524 --> 01:08:34,696 You wouldn't spank me would you, if I told you how dizzy bot I get, 957 01:08:34,863 --> 01:08:36,948 just hearing your dress crinkle? 958 01:08:37,449 --> 01:08:38,950 For Christ's sake, Babs. 959 01:08:39,117 --> 01:08:40,410 Just behave yourself 960 01:08:51,838 --> 01:08:55,425 Success... It tastes minty on my lips. 961 01:09:01,806 --> 01:09:03,725 My grandfather knew that tingle... 962 01:09:45,141 --> 01:09:47,769 [IN SPANISH] Caligari's got a new pair of shoes. 963 01:11:37,921 --> 01:11:40,715 - Thank God, you came. - When you didn't call, I got worried. 964 01:11:40,882 --> 01:11:42,322 You won't believe what has happened. 965 01:11:42,801 --> 01:11:44,401 Who's the sluggo playing Mamie van Doren? 966 01:11:44,511 --> 01:11:45,553 It's dad! 967 01:11:47,096 --> 01:11:48,306 That's my father-in-law? 968 01:11:48,723 --> 01:11:52,393 Dr. Lodger, you big hunk of man. 969 01:11:52,602 --> 01:11:57,732 What say we float into the cloakroom for a little hokey-pokey? 970 01:11:59,651 --> 01:12:01,171 Ramona, what the bell happened to him? 971 01:12:01,277 --> 01:12:02,403 Caligari... 972 01:12:02,570 --> 01:12:09,911 We can make Jell-O... watch TV... I love Andy Griffith. 973 01:12:10,078 --> 01:12:13,331 Aunt Bea still gives me randy pants. 974 01:12:13,665 --> 01:12:16,084 It's Caligari... she's behind everything. 975 01:12:16,501 --> 01:12:19,879 She's somehow planted Mrs Van Houten's libido... in our dad! 976 01:12:20,046 --> 01:12:22,298 That can't be... where's Caligari now? 977 01:12:22,507 --> 01:12:24,788 Caligari has a lab in the basement, but that's not all... 978 01:12:24,926 --> 01:12:25,510 There's more? 979 01:12:25,677 --> 01:12:28,012 Mr. Pratt and Mrs. Van Houten are both on the loose and... 980 01:12:28,179 --> 01:12:28,680 And? 981 01:12:28,888 --> 01:12:31,558 I think Mrs. Van Houten's mesquite grilled her bus band. 982 01:12:32,308 --> 01:12:33,308 Wow. 983 01:12:34,018 --> 01:12:36,271 - Take me to Caligari's lab. - Don't make me... 984 01:12:36,437 --> 01:12:39,774 Go back? All right, take this... take father home. 985 01:12:39,941 --> 01:12:40,941 Why don't we... 986 01:12:40,984 --> 01:12:42,652 Call the police? We can't. Not yet 987 01:12:42,819 --> 01:12:44,859 If they find dad like this, his next job will be... 988 01:12:44,946 --> 01:12:46,531 Popping out of party cakes. 989 01:12:46,739 --> 01:12:48,950 Don't go to that lab... promise me. 990 01:12:49,117 --> 01:12:54,080 I couldn't handle both the men in my life going Mamie on me. 991 01:12:54,247 --> 01:12:55,247 Does Caligari have a... 992 01:12:55,373 --> 01:12:59,168 Weapon? Just remember, she made a killer out of the Van Houten woman. 993 01:12:59,544 --> 01:13:02,046 I'll stop them... I'll stop them all. 994 01:13:02,213 --> 01:13:03,715 I'll tell ya, sweet chips. 995 01:13:04,215 --> 01:13:05,967 We shake a tail feather, 996 01:13:06,175 --> 01:13:10,597 we can grab the next land cruiser to Boca Raton. 997 01:13:11,222 --> 01:13:13,975 I love going Greyhound, don't you? 998 01:13:15,393 --> 01:13:20,857 A hundred percent glandular extract from Dr. Caligari the first. 999 01:13:25,320 --> 01:13:29,407 [ECHOEY VOICE] Brain fluid compliments of Mrs. van Houten. 1000 01:13:30,491 --> 01:13:32,952 I learned bow to do this watching you. 1001 01:13:33,786 --> 01:13:36,164 See what it feels like to be my patient? 1002 01:13:36,331 --> 01:13:39,167 Mrs. Van Houten, put that down. 1003 01:14:04,108 --> 01:14:07,528 Have you ever seen a baby doll shaved clean down there? 1004 01:14:08,571 --> 01:14:12,158 Cleopatra did it... you bet. 1005 01:14:12,700 --> 01:14:15,453 Only sometimes, you get a rash. 1006 01:14:16,079 --> 01:14:19,082 A rash is not a very pretty thing. 1007 01:14:20,124 --> 01:14:21,793 You've got to keep your... 1008 01:14:26,381 --> 01:14:28,925 skin moist. 1009 01:14:29,092 --> 01:14:30,176 Uh-huh. 1010 01:14:32,220 --> 01:14:34,889 Lend me a hunk of tongue, 1011 01:14:37,225 --> 01:14:38,559 so I can stay... 1012 01:14:39,978 --> 01:14:40,979 damp. 1013 01:14:44,315 --> 01:14:46,275 How's about it? 1014 01:14:47,151 --> 01:14:48,861 [ELECTRONIC CALLIOPE TYPE MUSIC] 1015 01:15:10,967 --> 01:15:12,135 I know you're watching me. 1016 01:15:12,510 --> 01:15:15,013 Of course, you're a fascinating woman. 1017 01:15:15,596 --> 01:15:16,889 I wish to learn more about you. 1018 01:15:17,056 --> 01:15:18,056 [SHE SHRIEKS] 1019 01:15:18,433 --> 01:15:20,685 There's much to be learned from a despairing shriek. 1020 01:15:20,852 --> 01:15:21,686 For instance? 1021 01:15:21,853 --> 01:15:23,521 That you can't trust doctors. 1022 01:15:23,688 --> 01:15:24,856 But you can trust love. 1023 01:15:25,023 --> 01:15:27,066 What do you want from me... I can't love. 1024 01:15:27,400 --> 01:15:29,193 Describe your life in three words or less. 1025 01:15:29,402 --> 01:15:31,320 Unending torment. 1026 01:15:31,738 --> 01:15:34,991 [LOUD AND PROLONGED SCREAM] 1027 01:15:41,622 --> 01:15:44,167 [THUNDER] 1028 01:15:59,432 --> 01:16:01,851 [END THEME PLAYS UNDER CREDITS]